Fatherhood Thus Far

So it is the end of the year- literally I am writing this on New Year’s Eve night. Lucas is about seven weeks old. It below freezing outside (about 24F to be exact) and I am having a nice relaxing evening staying in. We were invited to a friend’s New Year’s Celebration that I wanted to go to- but for Lucas’s sake we decided to stay in and have a bit of a quiet New Year’s Celebration. I decided to buy a nice Belgian Triple Ale and just relax. We fired up the fireplace tonight (Samantha our dog loved it) and just kind of shot the breeze. Now that I have a breath of free time I wanted to take a moment to write about some of my thoughts about fatherhood thus far.

So fatherhood- where do I start? I write this half expecting Lucas to read it when he understands it and half just out of pure boredom. In short- fatherhood is definitely experience, but it doesn’t change who you are as a core person. Sure there is the sudden huge influx of responsibilities that are associated with supported an infant child, but I would like to think that I am the same person now that I was two months ago. I still have the core values that I did and I still would like to consider myself a nice person.

Below are a list of “tidbits” that I have thought about enough to write about regarding my first month and a half of parenthood.

Parental Sacrifices

I’m lucky. My wife Asumi is awesome. If there is a happy hour planned at work or an hour or so that I want to go to the gym Asumi has been more the receptive to take care of Lucas for an hour while I go out. Likewise, when she wants to go out to lunch with friends or to yoga I try to be as accommodating as possible to help keep her sanity.

That being said- there are definitely scheduling sacrifices that you have to settle for when you are a parent. I have turned down more than one happy hour or outing with coworkers in the name of familiar responsibility. Today (New Year’s Eve) is a prime example of this as I turned down going to a coworkers party. The first sacrifice that I remember is skipping a 5K run that I signed up for to go to Luke’s first pediatric visit.

The one exception that I want to make is working out/going to the gym. Physical health is paramount. If you are unhealthy you cannot work as efficiently and thus cannot provide. Even if it is for just an hour I think it is direly important that new parents don’t fall into the “get fat” stereotype and actually stay fit.

Zippers instead of Buttons

This is meant more of advice to future parents- but when you buy clothes I would strongly recommend that you buy the “zipper up” onesies instead of the button ups. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to figure out the puzzle of buttons when Lucas is kicking/screaming at the top of his lungs post diaper change.

Crying Baby

Lucas cries. Babies cry in general. I categorize the reasons for crying into the following four categories:

  1. I’m Hungry
  2. I need a diaper change
  3. I want attention
  4. ????

Reasons 1-3 are pretty easy to address. Number four is the hard one and obviously the most frustrating. Lucas was a hard number four today for a few hours. When babies are a number four there really isn’t too much you can do and parents get so much stress. Do I let the baby cry it out? Do I try to comfort him? Do I try to force feeding him? It’s frustrating and I really do not have a clear answer. My best success is to try to rock him in my arms or but him on my knees and bounce him up and down.

Lucas’s Favorite Videos

YouTube is awesome. They have so many videos for babies/kids. Every day I play at least a few videos for Lucas. These usually range from tradition nursery rhymes to the latest concatenation dreamt up by Sesame Street.

This was probably the first song I sang to Lucas. Catchy and long enough where I can eat up enough of his attention

This was the first one where I think I saw him smile. He likes the “Here a moo there a moo everywhere a moo moo” part.

With this song I always do the gestures with Lucas while he sits on my stomach. He seems to really like the final “jump” part.

I also do the gestures on this one. He seems to like it.

I’m going to try to do more of these posts when I get an ounce of free time as I legitimately enjoy them and think they are a great way to express what I am thinking in my mind. Hopefully I want be completely balls to the wall busy with fatherhood and professional life to come on here and share my experiences.


Chinese Movie Theater Experience – Part Two

Well it looks like I didn’t learn. After my abysmal experience with the Chinese movie theater before, I decided to give the movie theater experience in China another chance. What made me do this? Well, the fact that The Avengers: Age of Ultron looked so badass was the main driving factor. Seriously- I love these Marvel movies and will relentlessly throw my money at them as long as they get released. Another driving factor was the thought that the time I saw Cinderella could have been a fluke. Maybe princess-laden Disney movies tended to attract rude/obnoxious moviegoers in China. Maybe I was being too harsh and just had a bad experience with the movie theater. In any case, I gave China the benefit of the doubt and tried to go to a movie theater again- turned out it was a bad idea.

This time I chose to go to the movie solo- “masturdate” if you will. I didn’t put too much thought into it this time. I picked the movie theater close to my apartment (in the pristine Raffles Mall in People’s Square) and bought an IMAX 3D ticket a day before hand. I bought a later show at 8:40PM on a Monday to hopefully deter some of the rift raft. Turns out it did not make too much of a difference.

The theater layout was a bit counter intuitive. Despite the box office being located on the first floor, the actual movie theaters were scattered between the second and sixth floor. Luckily, having an IMAX 3D ticket, my theater was easy to find on the second floor.  I got there a bit early and lounged around in the concession area for about fifteen minutes. Other people had got to the movie early too. From the looks of the crowd, it was mainly younger couples on a date with a few otaku/nerdy looking comic book enthusiasts scattered in the mix. There were only two other foreigners in the mix (a couple of guys that vaguely had the Australian surfer) look going for them.

After we entered the theater I took my seat on row number five right in the middle of the theater. I was actually a bit close to the screen- but nothing unmanageable. There were only a couple of people in all of the rows ahead of me so I thought this would “mask” any talking or cell phone usage- but boy was I wrong. Before the previews, everyone was talking. When the previews started, everyone was talking. When the movie started, everyone was talking. Talking Talking Talking. Not whispering (which is bad enough), but talking in a normal speaking voice. Add people regularly checking their phones and texting through the mix and you got a perfect recipe for a shitty movie experience. For a quasi-accurate visualization of what the movie theater experience was like, refer to the dome in this Oatmeal comic.

Again, the actual movie theater was an awesome movie theater. The screen was big, the sound system was booming, and there was everything needed to provide a great movie theater experience- the audience was just bad. The movie was awesome too. It had great special effects and further enhanced the infinity stone story arc that Marvel has been building with all of their films.

Talking with colleagues/friends, they don’t seem to share my frustrations with this experience. All I can deduce is that if you don’t know what the problem is- you are the problem. If you open your mouth during the movie for reasons other than eating/breathing/drinking/(reasonably)laughing, you shouldn’t be in the movie theater. Stay at home! Halfway through the movie I fantasized about taking the guy’s cellphone beside me and bashing his skull in with it. I thought, “Yeah, I’d end up in some Chinese black site medical prison for the rest of my life, but it would be pretty satisfying.” Alas, the sanity inside me convinced me that it wasn’t worth it. In any case, the whole experience reminded me of the classic Mastodon song from the Aqua Team Hunger Force movie:

It has to be something in the culture of mainland China. I’ve seen movies in Japan, USA, and Taiwan and never had this sort of experience. Maybe in a couple of generations when the education level of China catches up to that of the first world the movie theater experience will be enjoyable, but I doubt I will ever go back to a movie theater in mainland China.

Venue: Peace Cinema Shanghai (IMAX)
English Friendliness: No Chinese Ability Required
Cost: 180RMB per ticket for IMAX 3D
Recommended? Not if you like movies

Public Transportation in Shanghai

If you are a foreigner coming to Shanghai, chances are that you will need to take some form of public transportation. Many companies will include a car/driver as part of their expat packages- but for us with normal average Joe salaries we have to resort to taking public transportation. I wanted to highlight some of my experiences and insights with various forms of public transportation in Shanghai.

The Subway

The metro in Shanghai is huge and you can really go just about anywhere on it. It opens around 6am and shuts down around 11pm. As far as the actual experience- it’s hit or miss. Sometimes it is no problem (dare I say enjoyable) and not crowded at all while other times it is borderline unusable due to the crowds and pushing. Let me preface this by comparing it to the Tokyo subway. In Tokyo, the subway was definitely crowded- however the people there had decency. There was no pushing, cutting in line, and everyone waited until everyone else safely exited the train before trying to get on. Inside the subway everyone was considerate, quiet, and mindful to the fellow passengers. Even if the Tokyo metro is packed full- it’s still endurable.

In Shanghai- there are no rules. People push (violently sometimes) in order to get ahead of the line. When a train comes, instead of waiting for people to safely exit the train, people quickly try to jump on and throw people out of the way just so they can get a seat. People yell in the subway and shout at the top of their lungs on their cellphones. People cough up their lungs and spit on the floor of the train. I’ve also seen a couple of instances where parents will actually let their babies defecate on the train. Now I take the metro (Line 2 between Peoples’ Square and Jinke Rd.) every day to go to work, however my rule is that I have to ride before 7:30am or after 9:00am in order to avoid the crowd. During this time I am usually lucky enough to find a seat and blast music in my headphones while I read a book. It is the cheapest way of transport (only about 60 cents one way)- but depending on when you go it can be flat out hazardous.

Packed train- there was so much pushing.

Packed train- there was so much pushing.

The Bus

I’ve only taken the bus twice: once in Beijing and once when I went to Chongming Island. Since the Chongming trip was a little long distance, I consider the Beijing experience more relevant experience. It was crowded, smelly, and everyone pushed. I get the impression it is like the subway and depends when you take it, however I tend to stay away.

Normal Taxis

Normal taxis are hit or miss. Sometimes they will be perfectly fine while other times they will be a somewhat fleeting experience. My biggest beef with the taxis here is that they will often ask “Where are you going?” and deny you a ride based on that. Supposedly this is illegal, however it seems to happen to me quite often. For foreigners I suppose they just think that the chance of me actually reporting them is slim so they can discriminate based off destination. They never have functional seat belts and very rarely have any English ability. Your best chance is to have your destination printed out in large Chinese font (some of them have bad eyes for reading).

One good thing about normal taxis is that they will often know the streets a lot better than Uber drivers. Uber drivers tends to use GPS while the regular taxi drivers tend to rely on their street knowledge. They drive very aggressively (sometimes dangerously), however they always tend to know where to go. This turns into a bit of double edged sword as they will take the long way- however it still seems to be considerably cheap (especially compared to western standards) if you can catch a normal cab. For the base fare it is about $2 and slowly goes up from there.

An important thing to be careful for is what color taxi you catch. Avoid the dark red taxis at all costs as they have a terrible reputation and are normally from smaller companies. You’ll have a higher chance of getting ripped off in these and some of them don’t drive with insurance. Always make sure that the taxi uses the meter and have a general idea of how much it should cost and how far away your destination is. If you feel you are being ripped off, take a picture of the taxi/license (as well as his ID number) and get a Chinese friend to call in a complaint and get you a refund. When going to/from the airport- the taxi is the best bet, but make sure you get a legit taxi. From Peoples’ Square to Pudong Airport normally runs me about 170RMB (about $27). They do not take credit cards, but will take the Shanghai metro card that you use in the subway. When coming from the airport make sure that you go to the official taxi queue. There will be a lot of scam limo services that try to solicit you, however make sure you go to the official line in the airport. Finally, when catching a cab from the Maglev, be very careful as it is a known scam for taxis to ripoff unsuspecting foreigners who are coming from the airport.


Uber has been in China for about a year or so and is honestly one of my favorite forms of transportation. They never reject you based of destination, always have seat belts, normally have free water, and sometimes the drivers will have some degree of English communication skills. There are different levels of Uber from Uber Black (expensive, but you will get at least an Audi A6) to Peoples’ Uber (cheaper than normal taxis). The only disadvantage here is that coverage is hit or miss. Sometimes you will only have to wait for a minute or so before they pick you up while other times there will be no availability at all. Depending on the level it is considerably more expensive- however the cheapest level is on the same par (if not cheaper) than normal taxis. They have some interesting cars as well. There have been a couple of times when I had a Tesla Model S pick me up. As it tends to be a bit more expensive than normal taxis- usually the locals shy away from it. This makes availability during peak times (rain, concerts, etc.) a bit more reliable compared to normal taxis. It is all credit card based too which adds a certain level of convenience. It’s definitely worth having this app on your phone.

The Tesla I got from Uber

The Tesla I got from Uber


The Maglev (magnetic levitation train) is a high speed train that runs from Longyang Rd. Station to Pudong Airport. It’s awesome. It goes at about 430km/h during peak times and is super impressive. As of writing this, it’s the fastest public train currently in service on the planet. It’s about 40RMB for a 10 minute or so ride. It’s not super convenient unless you live by the terminal station at Longyang Rd. If I am going to the airport from work (I work near Jinke Rd.) it is great, however from my apartment in Peoples’ Square it is a bit far.

Max speed on the Maglev

Max speed on the Maglev

Shanghai definitely is a walking city. Compared to Dallas where virtually no one walks out of necessity, it’s quite easy to walk just about anywhere in the city. You have to deal with garbage, spit, people blowing cigarette smoke, and a host of other annoyances, but sometimes walking even a far distance is the best choice.

Typical Shanghai Sidewalk

Typical Shanghai Sidewalk

Notice how I did not mention anything about riding a bicycle. There certainly are people who do it in Shanghai, however these people are a lot more brave than myself. Having to weave in and out of traffic is a bit more than I want to endure on my daily commute. I don’t think it is particularly safe for the health of my heart.

Public transportation in Shanghai definitely takes some getting used to, but once you learn the goods and the bads it definitely provides a pretty high level of convenience. Having a flexible position as a software engineer definitely allows for a better experience. I can go to and leave work at times that will help me avoid the rush. I hope this post will help any prospective Shanghai visitor navigate their way around Shanghai.

Sherpas Favorites – Brasa Chicken

Continuing with my series of favorite foods from Sherpas, this time I bring you Brasa Chicken. This weekend I caught a nasty cold and was feeling particularly lazy so I ordered from Sherpas. One of my favorite places to order from is Brasa Chicken. I order from them because of the great value and delicious taste. If I am feeling very hungry, I get the family package and that normally lasts me at least an entire day’s worth of meals. This time, I went with the individual combo with some chicken noodle soup to nurse my cold.

The order (on my phone)

The order (on my phone)

And about an hour later, this came:


The chicken noodle soup was a good idea. It was piping hot and was exactly what I needed for my cold. The chicken and potatoes were classic soul food staples and filled me up right away. I definitely recommend Brasa Chicken.